now I’m sleeping in the car tonight, I’ve found the perfect parking spot
chugging down the whiskey to forget the things I’m not
and I’m holding back the vomit, I’d rather let the poison kill me
you know I’d sooner die than apologize for the things I had to do
got a closetful of notebooks filled with words of my former self
when I read them, it’s like torture in a self-inflicted hell
‘cause I hate the man I was, the man I am is not much better
and I’m finally getting bored of getting better anyway
now I’m driving to Olathe, listening to the old demo tape
of that short-lived former four-piece act that sang songs you used to hate
yeah, they were stupid punk rock anthems, it was a stupid punk rock band
it isn’t like I was trying to impress you, you understand
now I’m sleeping in the car tonight, I’ve found the perfect parking spot
chugging down the whiskey to forget the things I’m not
and I’m holding back the vomit, I’d rather let the poison kill me
you know I’d sooner die than apologize for the things I had to do
I have failed to even meet my own insufficient standards
I’ve broken all my resolutions, disappointed my own friends
and it’s pretty damn apparent if I had something to contribute
to society, then I probably should have figured it out by now
but I remember every lyric I never found the time to write
and I remember all those big ideas I was too afraid to try
and I’m proud of worthless songs like these that momentarily deluded me
into feeling a sense of accomplishment
now I’m sleeping in the car tonight, I’ve found the perfect parking spot
chugging down the whiskey to forget the things I’m not
and I’m holding back the vomit, I’d rather let the poison kill me
you know I’d sooner die than apologize
(also there are a bunch of "Yah dah dah"s in the song but you can probably figure those out on your own. also maybe some cat noises)
credits
from Epic Fail,
released July 20, 2018
Additional vocals: Maggie Cargill, Matt Orr, Lawrence March, Anne Cuddy, Sebastian Carl Smith
Trumpet: Nick Howell
Trombone: Mike Walker
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